Networking for Introverts: Making connections on your own terms
If you’re anything like me, the word “networking” probably makes you want to hide behind a book or pretend that your phone just died. Walking into a room of strangers, making small talk, and handing out business cards? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. As an introvert, I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out how to navigate networking in a way that doesn’t leave me completely drained. I’m naturally a very shy person, so the idea of putting myself out there used to (and sometimes still does) paralyze me like a deer in headlights, but with worse posture and a tendency to nervously sip whatever drink I’m holding.
When I moved to Sioux Falls three years ago, my daily routine consisted of work and home. No third space, no casual meetups, and, by golly, certainly no networking. After two years of this routine, I realized that maybe I needed at least one or two friends in the area. So, in a moment of rare social bravery, I joined a networking group to familiarize myself with the city and get to know more people.
Large networking events still terrify me, but over time, I’ve learned a few tips and tricks that make it somewhat less awkward. I’m not implying that this blog is going to dispell any fears or anxiety you might have, but maybe you might feel better knowing that someone else feels the same way. Essentially, I’ve learned a few ways to inform my nervous system that I’m not being hunted by predators and that I’m simply just trying to spark conversation with another human being. Networking doesn’t have to be painful. In fact, it can be kinda fun when you do it on your own terms….. Kinda.
Let’s Rethink What Networking Actually Is
For the longest time, I thought networking meant forcing myself into big, loud events where I had to fake confidence and collect as many business cards as my pockets could handle. But that’s not the truth. Networking is really just about building relationships over time, and it can happen in ways that feel natural to you.
Honestly, some of my best professional connections started through one-on-one coffee chats, casual conversations on LinkedIn, and even chance encounters at bookstores. I even ended up joining a soccer team with a few of them. (We lost every single game, but that’s not what this blog is about.)
The point is: networking doesn’t have to feel formal or forced—it just has to be real. Find the ways that work for you, and focus on building relationships, not just contacts.
Find networking situations that actually feel good
Not every networking event is a good fit, and that’s okay. Instead of forcing yourself into overwhelming situations, try looking for opportunities that align with your personality:
Small Group Gatherings: Instead of clustered mixers, try workshops, book clubs, or panel discussions where you can engage in more meaningful conversations. This format will help you relax more and make more genuine connections with people who share similar interests.
One-on-One Meetups: Grabbing coffee with someone feels way more natural than trying to work a crowded room. Plus, there’s caffeine, which is basically social lubricant for introverts.
Online Networking: If in-person events feel exhausting, LinkedIn, industry forums, and virtual networking groups are great alternatives. Take a look at different events on Facebook or bulletin boards for opportunities in your area.
Structured Events: If small talk isn’t your thing, try events with built-in conversation starters, like speed networking or roundtable discussions. It’s sort of like networking on training wheels.
a little preparation goes a long way
One of the biggest things that used to stress me out about networking was the unpredictability. What if I didn’t know what to say? What do I do with my hands? I started preparing just a little bit ahead of time, which made a huge difference.
Set a Simple Goal: Instead of pressuring yourself to meet 20 people, aim for just one or two good conversations. You know what they say, quality over quantity, always. If you hit your benchmark, you can always go home or get yourself a sweet treat.
Have a Few Go-To Questions: Things like, “What do you love most about your work?” or “How did you get started in your field?” help get the conversation flowing. (Worst case, talk about the weather).
Practice Your Introduction: You don’t need a formal elevator pitch—just a short, natural way to introduce yourself that doesn’t make you sound like a malfunctioning robot.
use your introvert superpowers
Here’s the thing: Introverts have an advantage when it comes to networking. We tend to be great listeners, deep thinkers, and excellent at building meaningful connections. Use those strengths to your advantage.
Be a Great Listener: People love to be heard. Ask thoughtful questions and genuinely listen to their answers. Bonus: It takes the pressure off you to do all the talking.
Follow Up in a Meaningful Way: A well-written follow-up email or LinkedIn message goes a long way in making a lasting impression, especially if you remember small details from your conversation. This is also a great way at establishing a “networking buddy” to join forces with at other networking opportunties.
Offer Something of Value: Whether it’s sharing a helpful resource, making an introduction, or just offering encouragement, adding value to relationships strengthens your connections.
Protect your energy and set boundaries
Networking can be draining, so it’s important to take care of yourself. Here’s how I manage:
Give Yourself an Out: If you need to leave early, that’s totally fine. Set a time limit that feels doable—no need to stay until the bitter end.
Schedule Downtime: Plan some quiet time before and after networking events to recharge. Treat yourself to a book or just some blissful silence.
Take Advantage of Digital Connections: If in-person networking isn’t your thing, focus on building relationships online instead. Less small talk, more meaningful connections.
Alright, my fellow introverts, we’ve reached the end of our networking survival guide. Is networking ever going to be as comfortable as bing-watching your favorite show in sweatpants? No. But does it have to be soul crushing? Also no.
Think of it this way: networking is just finding people who don’t make you want to run for the exists. You don’t have to collect business cards like they’re Pokemon or turn into the life of the party overnight. Just be yourself, embrace the occasional awkward silence, and remember - some of the best connections start with a simple, “Hey, I like your shoes.”
